Five things Wei Wuxian knew about Lan Wangji and the one thing he didn't
i.
He’s a stickler for rules.
It was evident from the first time they met. Lan Wangji had caught him sneaking past curfew hours, and he was unable to be swayed by alcohol. Instead, he reported Wei Wuxian to his uncle, resulting in him being reprimanded.
Three days after that incident, he caught Wei Wuxian helping the others cheat and told on them. As punishment, Wei Wuxian had to copy the entirety of their sect rules while being supervised by Lan Wangji. On the last day of his punishment, Wei Wuxian had swapped Lan Zhan's poetry book with one of pornography. He only managed to get out of being punished by provoking Lan Zhan enough into accidentally destroying the book out of anger.
On another day, Wei Wuxian held a party that lasted well into the night with the other disciples. It had involved porn, alcohol, and a lot of other things that would’ve gotten them in trouble. They were, however, discovered by Lan Zhan the next morning. They found out that he was actually after Wei Wuxian, as he caught him sneaking past curfew again. Wei Wuxian had implicated him into breaking the curfew as well to keep him quiet, but Lan Zhan took the punishment fairly. That was the moment Wei Wuxian knew, he would never be able to win against him.
ii.
His ears turn red when he’s embarrassed.
Lan Zhan always displayed an air of elegance and a face of indifference, but it all went away because of Wei Wuxian. He had a way of getting under his skin, so much so that Lan Zhan’s cold, aloof nature often disappeared.
However, he had this certain habit that appeared whenever he got especially flustered. Wei Wuxian first noticed it when he joined him in the cold springs after both of them had received punishment. He wanted to go closer to him, to share body warmth to strive off the cold, all the while flattering him as well, saying all the praises that came to his mind. And that’s when he saw it. He saw how his ears started flushing, how red bloomed from the tips, slowly spreading, growing, ending with his whole ears blushing scarlet.
After noticing the unusual yet endearing reaction, Wei Wuxian felt the urge to tease him grow stronger.
iii.
His eyes are beautiful.
Wei Wuxian has always noticed the unique color of his eyes, the crystal-like golden shine of it. But what makes them especially beautiful is how clear and honest they can be.
Lan Zhan tends to be rather impassive, concealing his emotions every chance he gets. However, Wei Wuxian notices how his eyes always manage to betray him, showing every single thing HanGuang-Jun feels inside. From frustration and annoyance at seeing Wei Wuxian and his antics, to concern back when they were trapped in that cave. Sometimes, he could even see tiny, subtle bursts of laughter in his eyes. It's as if they spoke the words HanGuang-Jun’s mouth could not.
And Wei Wuxian has grown to love looking at those eyes.
iv.
When Lan Zhan touches him, he lights on fire.
It starts with a single flicker, heating up where skin met skin. Then the warmth crawls up, spreading like a forest fire, burning everything down, consuming his entire body, choking him with clouds of noxious smoke. The burns don’t show, but it’s hard to breathe with all the ash in his lungs. He could feel the blaze, smell the smoke, burning and suffocating him daily.
v.
It hits him hard one day.
He doesn't know when it started, when he couldn’t stop thinking about Lan Zhan, searching for the soft, fresh scent of sandalwood. His presence fills his mind, consuming every single one of his thoughts. He listens to every word he says, remembers every single, little detail about him. And when they are together, he couldn’t stop staring at him, his eyes trailing his every movement, his every action, the way his soft, pale-red lips move with every word. He unconsciously moves closer, gravitating toward him, seeking his touch, even just a single bump, a single graze. He finds that he could barely even leave his side, wanting to be with him wherever he goes.
All Wei Wuxian knows is that he loves him, he loves Lan Zhan to the very end.
+ i
Wei Wuxian finds out the truth from Lan Xichen, about Lan Zhan’s feelings, existing all those weeks ago, years ago, even back when he was still alive. He realizes the tension hidden between them, how his actions could have been misunderstood, and he breaks down. He wants to go find Lan Zhan, see him, talk to him, kiss him. He just wants to be with him, for the rest of his life.
And when he does tell Lan Zhan how he feels–and made sure he understands–it feels like a weight is lifted off his chest. His heart is beating fast and he’s feeling too many things at once.
And when he listens to Lan Zhan repeat his words to him, he feels ecstatic. He feels his heart bursting more and more with each word. He couldn’t see a thing in the darkness, but he feels safe in Lan Zhan’s embrace. He feels like he needn’t worry about a thing.
And he doesn’t need to; for now, he knows one thing he never thought possible.
He loves him, too.
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