Scritch. Scritch. The sound of an aggressive pencil writing across the surface of a piece of paper echoed in the room, lit only by a single desk lamp in the middle of the dark. Scritch. Crumple. Crumple. Frustratingly, the sound of paper being balled up and thrown into the already overflowing waste bin replaced the sound of a pencil. Rinse, then repeat. Jiang Cheng almost had a heart attack when the room suddenly grew brighter from the main lights being turned on, searing his eyes with the added brightness. “Jiang Cheng, what the hell are you doing in the dark??” A familiar, cheerful voice called out to him from behind, only eliciting a groan from Jiang Cheng. He swiveled around in his desk chair to face the new presence in the room, folding his arms and glaring. Of course, the only person who would be around at this time would be Wei WuXian. “It's none of your business. Where the hell have you been in the last few hours?” Jiang Cheng huffed, turning back around in his chair to continue his writing. Scritch. Scritch.
“If your business isn't my business, then my business isn't yours!” Wei WuXian declared, hands on his hips. However, unbeknownst to Jiang Cheng, the other had begun creeping closer to him, before swooping down to snatch the piece of parchment he had been working on. “But I'm making your business my business anyways! Since you want to know, I was with Lan Zhan.” Wei WuXian was rather proud of himself, dodging a raging Jiang Cheng who stood up to try and grab the paper back. “Wei WuXian! Give that back!” “Let's see, what have you been doing holed up in our dorm room for the past couple hours?” Wei WuXian continued stepping back every time the other tried swiping it back, to no avail. “Hm..” he read outloud, “ ‘Even though you vomited on me after downing eight glasses of anus burners, I hate that you're stupidly beautiful’...” He suddenly stopped moving after only reading one sentence in the middle. Wei WuXian looked back at his brother, a look of disbelief plastered on his face, “Jiang Cheng, what even is this? Are you writing some kind of death threat?” In the next moment, Jiang Cheng snatched the paper from his adopted brother's hands, before crumpling it up and tossing it behind him into the pile of other crumpled pieces of paper. His face was flushed red, although Wei WuXian couldn't tell if it was from anger or something else. In a fit of anger, he yelled at him, “It is not a threat letter, it's supposed to be a love letter, thank you very much!”
Wei WuXian's face of disbelief held, before twisting into laughter, unable to hold it in. “Oh my god? A love letter? Th-That was a love letter?! Hahahahaha!!!”
“Don't laugh!” Jiang Cheng proceeded to punch his brother's stomach, causing Wei WuXian to cough out the rest of his laugh.
“Hahaha..” He wiped the tears that began forming at the corner of his eyes from his laughing, “What else do you expect me to do? Your writing is horrible, A-Cheng.” Jiang Cheng shot him another glare, causing Wei WuXian’s laughter to die down fully, the man regaining control of himself. Wei WuXian moved to pat Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, before walking to his bed on the other side of the room. Jiang Cheng simultaneously moved back into the desk chair, pulling out another piece of paper to write on. Although he couldn’t see his face, Wei WuXian could clearly see his ears tipped with red still.
Scritch. Scritch.
“How long have you been trying to write this, uh, love letter?”
Jiang Cheng didn’t answer.
“... You don’t have to be so cold, A-Cheng. I’m sorry I said your writing was bad! I can’t help but speak the truth, you know.”
Jiang Cheng, “...”
“Here, here! Jiang Cheng, I’ll help you write a proper love letter to your secret crush!!” This caused his attention to be diverted from the page.
“You? Write a love letter for me?” Jiang Cheng gawked. There’s no way he could trust Wei WuXian of all people to write a love letter.
Wei WuXian pouted at his brother’s suspicion, “Come on, I’m literally dating Lan Zhan! I know a thing or two about romance!” Definitely more than Jiang Cheng could ever hope to know about at this point in time.
Jiang Cheng, “You’re denser than a fucking black hole, WuXian.”
Wei WuXian, offended, “I am not!”
“You made Lan WangJi wait 13 fucking years for your dumb ass.”
“He wasn’t obvious enough!! How was I supposed to know he was in love with me with him staring at me all the time?!”
Jiang Cheng glanced over at the exasperated Wei WuXian, squinting at him for his last statement. “You’re an absolute dumbass.” He shook his head, “How can you be so sure you can write a better love letter than me?”
Wei WuXian laid back onto his bed, arms spread wide within the soft embrace of the comforter. “I’m a Literature major, Jiang Cheng, how could I not be good at writing a love letter?” He was obviously proud of his writing skills, and to be honest? Jiang Cheng couldn’t lie, Wei WuXian got pretty good grades in his classes, and he hated that.
“Ugh.”
“You know I’m right~” Wei WuXian chirped, moving around on the bed to lay on his side and face the man sitting at the desk. “Anyways, before I help you, I have to know who it is you’re lusting after.”
Jiang Cheng stayed quiet, and continued writing, all the while ignoring Wei WuXian. His brother continued to egg him on, until he spun around to face Wei WuXian. He pointed his pen threateningly at him.
“Swear you won't say shit, and we have a deal. Or else I'll choke you and break your legs.”
“Yawn, get better threats and maybe I'll consider actually keeping those promises.” Wei WuXian snickered. He reached over to pick up one of the many balled up pieces of rejected letters in the trash, uncrumpling it and refolding it more neatly. For blackmail purposes, of course.
Jiang Cheng squinted, and steepled his fingers together.
“Considered, how about I shove my foot up your ass if you don't throw that note away.”
“Bold of you to assume your foot could get any deeper th—”
Jiang Cheng chose to pretend not to hear the next few words that came out of Wei WuXian's mouth. He internally screamed as his brother graphically described things he didn't ask to hear about.
‘Your boyfriend's dick size is not something you talk about with your brother. Huge TMI, thanks bro.’
Jiang Cheng turned himself around and scribbled some words onto his new piece of paper. He stood up, kicked the chair back, and taped the paper onto the wall.
‘New dorm rules:
- no talking about shoving shit up wuxian’s ass.
- for the love of god if someone mentions the size of someone's dick in my bedroom I will actually throw them out the window
- if you get thrown out the window then it's not my fault, we're on floor 6 for a good reason.
Signed, Jiang Fucking Cheng.’
“Bro, aren't these a bit harsh?”
“Nothing is too harsh when you're in college.” Jiang Cheng flung his pen directly at Wei WuXian's forehead, “This is a lawless place.” He then sat back down and got to work, picking up another pen from his table.
Wei WuXian dodged the incoming projectile, and pouted.
“Aw, don't be like that little bro, I do want to help you though! I swear I can do something good, just let me know who you're popping a boner for and I can wor—”
Another pen was thrown, and this time it hit. While WuXian was preoccupied with rolling around on the bed, this left Jiang Cheng with some very loud background noise. But it was still better than Wei WuXian talking to him directly.
“Dude!! I’m trying to actually help here, do you want to send another death threat or an actual smooth love letter to whomever the fuck you’re longing for?”
“It isn’t a threat letter, how many times do I have to say that?” Jiang Cheng crumpled another sheet.
Wei WuXian made a doubtful sound. “You say that, yet who’s the one blacklisted on almost every dating app?”
“That is very, very different.”
“It’s very, very much the same. Your courting game sucks, admit it. Denial may suit you, but this ain’t the time for it. Accept me as your wingman or perish and get a restraining order.”
“Is that a threat?”
Wei WuXian shrugged, “Maybe, but it sure as hell ain’t as bad as the threats you’ve been writing to your mystery sweetheart!”
At this point, Jiang Cheng was rather fed up with his brother’s shenanigans and decided, well fuck, if he has to deal with this incessant squabbling for any longer, he’s really going to go off on Wei WuXian. With a hand on his face from sheer exhaustion just from arguing with him, Jiang Cheng groaned, “Fine.”
“Brother dear is finally sharing his secret with me?”
“Not another word.”
Wei WuXian would’ve retorted again, but this time he complied, making a zipping motion across his lips to emphasize that he really was going to stay quiet this time. Jiang Cheng looked at him and waited for a response, expecting something dumb to spill out of Wei WuXian’s mouth again, but nothing came. He took this as his signal to speak.
“...Nie HuaiSang.” Jiang Cheng turned his head further, to hide his vaguely flushing cheeks at the mention of the one he’s crushing on.
A moment passes.
“I’m writing to Nie HuaiSang.”
It’s still quiet, so Jiang Cheng looked back at Wei WuXian on his bed, who lied there, seemingly contemplating this conundrum.
“Do you have something to say about it, WuXian?!” He immediately growled, always expecting the worst.
Wei WuXian blinked, but eventually replied, “N-no…?” He let out a sheepish laugh, “Ah but, I never would’ve thought my dear little brother would be crushing on HuaiSang of all people.” He sat up from Jiang Cheng’s bed, a hand to his chin, nodding to himself. Jiang Cheng dreaded whatever plan his idiot brother was going to propose.
“No worries though! That’ll be pretty easy then, A-Cheng, since he rooms with Lan Zhan! We’ve also known him since middle school, so this’ll be fine!”
It really wasn’t fine, but Wei WuXian continued anyways.
“How long have you been lusting after HuaiSang anyways?”
“Don’t say it like that.” “Okay, fine. How long have you been crushing on HuaiSang? Just recently?” Wei WuXian moved closer to the edge of the bed, inching towards Jiang Cheng, “Have you been in love with him since middle school, like Lan Zhan was with me?”
“No way, you’re just incredibly dense.”
Wei WuXian rolled his eyes, “Loving the attitude, but you're avoiding the question, A-Cheng.”
“Shove it—” Jiang Cheng stopped himself from finishing his sentence. He wasn't about to go against the dorm rooms he literally just pasted up on the walls.
“Hm?? What were you saying? It’s rude to leave someone hanging,” Wei WuXian smugly smiled, his head propped up with one hand.
Jiang Cheng flipped him the bird.
He shrugged off the offensive gesture, “I’m trying to help here, come on, work with me here, Jiang Cheng! I need dirt so I can write something, man!”
“You want dirt? Eat dirt outside like the fucking worm you are.”
“You really need to step up your insult game too, you suck more and more each time you try to be mean. I don’t think I’ll be able to take you seriously by the end of the day— oh wait!” He pointed at the wall clock above Jiang Cheng, “It is the end of day, you know what that means? You’re a huge joke right now.” Wei WuXian tutted, and picked up another letter from the floor.
Jiang Cheng scoffed, his voice laced with sarcasm, “It’s not the end of the day until it’s 12 AM, I still have a couple hours to continue disappointing you.”
“Of course, as if your writing isn’t already letting me down the hole that you’re digging for yourself.” His brother snorted as he skimmed through the letter’s contents. He snatched up a few crumpled papers from the trash bin, unfolding each one to read through. Jiang Cheng warily watched his brother wheeze periodically as he continued reading the letter. Wei WuXian had to stop for a few minutes between each letter to roll on the bed, howling and laughing until his throat was hoarse.
This probably wasn’t good for Jiang Cheng’s self-esteem; not that he ever really had much to begin with. Wei WuXian finally stopped laughing, letting out a shaky breath with the last remnants of his fit, “It really is for the best that… you probably stop pursuing Nie HuaiSang.” He threw the letter in his hand back into the waste bin. “You know he’s super into poems and shtick like this right? You’re going to make the poor man’s eyes bleed reading your letters.”
Jiang Cheng aggressively threw his hands towards Wei WuXian, “I’ve already sent him one letter, I can’t just stop writing!”
“Yes you can!” Wei WuXian picked up the pen that the other had thrown at him earlier and threw it back at Jiang Cheng’s face. “Just sit down and tell me your sob story; I’ll take note and write a letter for you by tomorrow.” “Don’t call it a sob story, compared to your fuckfest of a love life, mine is just…” Jiang Cheng clenched his fist, and blankly stared ahead. If Wei WuXian’s love life was a sob story, then his was just nonexistent and pathetic. He would never admit that to Wei WuXian though.
“So, do you want to actually tell me about you huge doki-dokis about our friend so I can write your love letter, or do you want me to just write slam poetry for him?”
“I would break your fingers if you wrote slam poetry with my name on it.” Jiang Cheng snapped the pen in his hand in half to make a point. What makes a finger any stronger than two hands? Sure he might not be able to break a finger with only one hand, but he has two for a reason.
Wei WuXian backed off at the livid expression on Jiang Cheng’s face, and simply made a hand gesture to continue. “I got it, I got it, no need to go wasting your pens, A-Cheng. Come on, we don’t have all night! Spill the tea, sis.”
“Uuuuugh— fucking fine!” Jiang Cheng fell onto the bed next to his brother, and folded his hands over his stomach. “It started in middle school, I think.” Suddenly, he felt like he was in a therapy session. WuXian? A therapist? Horrible choice.
“You think?”
“Did you realize you had feelings for the dude that got you into detention every other day? Yeah, I bet not, so shut up.”
“...Touchè.”
“I had, kind of feelings for HuaiSang at the time. He was cute, really nice, had weird taste in porn and was totally open about it for some reason?”
“Tentacle hentai is tame, have you seen the shit on his USB these days?” Wei WuXian snorted. “I actually have a copy if you want to see what he’s into—”
“I really don’t want to thanks,” Jiang Cheng covered Wei WuXian’s mouth with his hand. “Middle school was basically puppy love, or some kind of twisted form of admiration. Fuck if I know, but it wasn’t just ‘man I sure do fucking love my friend so damn much’ kind of feelings.”
It most certainly was not the way Nie HuaiSang would nervously laugh whenever Wei WuXian talked about another stupidly dumb and risky idea of his. He did not start to catch feelings for Nie HuaiSang because he smiled at Jiang Cheng, and draped an arm over his shoulder when they hung out.
There was no way he started to fall in love with Nie HuaiSang after one summer break, when they were entering their second year of highschool. He did not fumble with his words, trying to find words to compliment the now taller, and leaner Nie HuaiSang whose youthful baby face had started to mature. There was no fucking way.
But that was exactly how he caught his dumb puppy love for Nie HuaiSang. It had to be the stupidest thing that ever happened to him, but now the kiddy crush developed into genuine feelings. And he couldn’t get rid of them.
Wei WuXian found his love crisis extremely amusing though.
“That is, strangely poetic of you compared to the bullcrap you’ve been writing. Why didn’t you just write all of that instead of…” He leaned over and picked up a random crumpled up note from the ground. Wei WuXian squinted, and brought the paper close to his face. His expression contoured into questionable disgust. “This is just a retelling of Jin ZiXun’s party when he had that sick Jell-O pool, and all you wrote was explicitly describing the moment Nie HuaiSang was drinking a bottle of brandy and went streaking through the backyard with Lan XiChen— oh holy shit, wait, they almost drowned in the Jell-O pool? How come I don’t remember that?”
“Because you were in one of the bedrooms probably eating your boyfriend’s face like a parasite.” Jiang Cheng bitterly muttered, recounting walking in on the two of them at some point several times during the party. In a drunken state, he managed to continuously forget the room where his brother (and bitchface of a boyfriend) were staying in.
“Huuuuh, that actually makes sense. Okay, that strayed a bit off topic, but seriously dude? You wrote this kind of horse crap? This is literally just, a story, not even a love letter.” Wei WuXian squished the note into a paper ball again, and chucked it at the window, which only ended up hitting him back in the nose. “Fuck— either way, just write your actual feelings out? You know, like everything you just told me? That stuff?”
“And make myself sound like a sap? Hell no!”
“Your loss then.”
Jiang Cheng groaned, “You aren’t helping in the slightest.”
Wei WuXian took the paper ball that hit him back and chucked it at his brother’s head in turn, eliciting another glare from Jiang Cheng. “Writing your feelings down might turn out better than everything you’ve been writing so far!” He huffed.
Wei WuXian then moved off the bed, standing up to leave the room, “Well, I think I have enough information to write you a proper love letter, A-Cheng, so don’t you worry your little head any longer!” If anything, Jiang Cheng gets even more worried. “I mean, if you really don’t trust me to write you a letter of this caliber, maybe you could, I don’t know... Ask HuaiSang how to write flowery things yourself! He’s an English major too, after all.”
Jiang Cheng facepalmed, “Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of writing these then?!”
“Hey, you’d get to spend more time with him like that, but if you really don’t want to, I’m fine writing you letters myself.”
Jiang Cheng found himself thinking about it, now that Wei WuXian has brought it to his attention. He could, but should he? Was he even capable of conversing normally with Nie HuaiSang of all people without combusting in some manner?
Jiang Cheng mentally shook his head at the idea.
Absolutely not, but he has to at least try so Wei WuXian won’t have a reason to write the love letter for him. Jiang Cheng stood up, and made a dash to the door.
“Good luck brother dearest!”
Fuck luck! What he needs is some balls to even think about knocking on Nie HuaiSang’s door. Because if it isn’t Nie HuaiSang himself who opens the door, then he’s going to die right on the spot.
What reason would Lan WangJi have to let him? ‘Oh, I want to talk to your roommate about how to write a love letter to him, do you mind if I barge in looking pissy as hell?’ Yeah that’d work for sure.
Jiang Cheng stood at the front of the door. This is it. It’s Nie HuaiSang and Lan WangJi’s room. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but hesitated. All sorts of thoughts ran through his head.
What’s the worst that could happen? Just ask, you dumbass; his lips pursed together. He scowled and rapped on the hard surface of the door. He’s screwed already, he should go back. This was dumb, and useless. He almost considered throwing himself at Jin ZiXuan’s feet, and asking how he managed to get together with his sister, rather than ask his own crush how to write love letters.
Keyword: almost.
He took a deep breath, and clenched his fists, blunt nails digging into the rough skin of his palms. Jiang Cheng impatiently tapped his foot, trying to listen for anything behind the door. Was anyone even home?
The door quietly opened ajar, and of course it was Lan WangJi that appeared at the entrance to greet him. Any attempts to look further inside the dorm was futile, seeing how Lan WangJi blocked everything with his giant frame. ‘Was that a napa cabbage under his arm?’
“Jiang WanYin.”
“I need to see Nie HuaiSang, is he home?” He didn’t mean for the words to come out so crudely, but here he is, sounding like Nie HuaiSang owed him money. “I want some... advice.”
Lan WangJi looked skeptical, and Jiang Cheng could feel the cold and calculating gaze that the other gave him.
“Mm.” was all that came from Lan WangJi, before he shut the door softly.
Was he just denied?! What was that?!? Hey, Lan WangJi, open the door back up!! Jiang Cheng almost started banging on the door out of anger, but before his fist could make contact with the door, it was reopened in a swift motion.
In the doorway was now Nie HuaiSang, with his hair tied up into a ponytail, his honey-colored eyes looking off to the side (presumably to Lan WangJi) before looking at Jiang Cheng, his soft lips curving into a smile upon laying eyes on the one outside of their dorm. He was even wearing a cute little apron??! Jiang Cheng really thought he might die on the spot just taking in the appearance of Nie HuaiSang.
“WanYin!” Jiang Cheng’s heart seized up as he noticed the little chocolate stains on Nie HuaiSang’s face and apron. It was so tempting to just, reach over and wipe it off his face. Would that be weird?? “What do you need me for? It’s unexpected for you to visit at this time, haha.” It was a nervous sort of laughter, the kind Nie HuaiSang makes when he was trying to hide something. He knew that, because that’s how he always laughed when he was hiding his art supplies and questionable hentai from his brother, when he cheated on tests, or lied to someone. He knew it all too well.
“Er… I need your help on writing a love letter.” Jiang Cheng said through gritted teeth, keep your cool Jiang Cheng, you can’t lose it just yet. He had to prove it to Wei WuXian he could do this. Fuck his brother’s help, he can do this! Yes, this was the confidence booster he need: rubbing this metaphorical victory against his bro’s face.
Nie HuaiSang’s smile faltered for a moment, which was quickly replaced with an uneasy yet amused chuckle. “A love letter? I never knew you were someone that was into confessing through love letters. You always seemed like a kabedon kind of guy.” He snorted, and patted Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. “You came at a weird time, but no worries. Your bro has this covered!”
He pulled Jiang Cheng inside the dorm room, and closed to door behind him with a click. Locked…
Now he understood what Nie HuaiSang meant by ‘weird time’. Lan WangJi was standing in the middle of the living room where there was a circle of cabbages and lettuce. In the middle was a napa cabbage with a blue ribbon, and Lan Wangji, held another napa with a red ribbon tied onto it.
And of course, the amount of chocolate that was just everywhere. The table? Completely choco-fied. The kitchen counter? Absolutely choco-fucked. The veggies? Uber choco-fucked; no one was safe. ‘What was going on here?’
“Ah, don’t worry about the mess. We were, uh, testing out one of those little romantic gesture stuff we found online.” Nie HuaiSang patted the little chairs at the counter, and walked into the kitchen to do whatever he was doing before Jiang Cheng barged in. He took a seat, and wow… that was a lot of chocolate.
There were boxes, and boxes just full of chocolates shaped like squares, balls, rectangles, hearts, stars, you name it. Some were squashed, melted, and or ruined beyond saving. Each tag had a scribbled out name in sharpie.
Who were these for?
“So who has caught the eyes of our WanYin?” Nie HuaiSang asked in a sing-song voice, pouring a bowl of melted chocolate into silicone heart molds. “Have you finally found someone who fits your silly requirements?”
He snapped his head towards the kitchen at the mention of his ‘silly requirements’, “I’ll have you know, my requirements are completely reasonable!”
“Mhm, sure!” Nie HuaiSang hummed with sarcasm on his tongue, picking up the mold of chocolate and opening the fridge with his foot, exchanging the new batch with a batch that was already in the fridge. “Depends on what century you’re considering its validity, though I guess they’re pretty silly no matter where or when you are.”
Jiang Cheng huffed in response, while Nie HuaiSang laughed a bit at the other’s reaction. The sour grape looked away from the kitchen, only being able to redirect his sight towards Lan WangJi who was busy cleaning up his mess of napas and chocolate in the living room. He couldn’t just tell Nie HuaiSang that he was his object of affections, he certainly didn’t have the balls to do that, and honestly he’s still quite shocked he’s made it this far considering his situation.
“You haven’t answered my question yet, WanYin.” Nie HuaiSang hummed. The chocolates were popped out one by one with careful fingers, and arranged in a heart formation. “You don’t want your love letter to end up being like one of those vague love songs now do you?”
Yeah he really didn’t, but being specific could also lead to Nie HuaiSang possibly connecting the dots and realizing that Jiang Cheng is trying to write a love letter to him. Now that would be downright embarrassing, asking your crush to write a love letter for himself, and then your crush realizing they’re helping you write a literal letter to them.
“L-listen, what if I do?”
“Then it won’t hit that far home with them! You want to shoot their heart with an arrow of love, don’t you?” Nie HuaiSang picked up one of the chocolates to sample, popping it into his mouth.
Jiang Cheng let out a groan, “I’m going to keep it a secret until it’s a complete success or an utter failure, but I can try and tell you whatever you need aside from too personal information.” ‘Good plan, me, he says to himself. Good plan.’
Nie HuaiSang was going to respond, but instead only a fit of violent coughing echoed from the kitchen where he was, catching the attention of the arms-full-of-napa Lan WangJi and Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng stood up from his seat to run into the kitchen, but Nie HuaiSang waves his hand for Jiang Cheng to sit back down.
“I’m fine, I’m fine— I just added too much hot sauce to the chocolate.” He hacked, bits of chocolate coming out of his mouth. Nie HuaiSang bent down to the trash can and spat out the remaining pieces.
“WHY WOULD YOU PUT HOT SAUCE IN CHOCOLATE?” Jiang Cheng screeched, getting up from his chair to check on Nie HuaiSang.
“I said I’m fine!” Nie HuaiSang whined, and continued his coughing fit. Jiang Cheng frantically looked around the kitchen for a cup of water, or literally anything to help Nie HuaiSang right now. “There’s no point in panicking if you don’t even know what to do!” Jiang Cheng was pushed out of the kitchen, the other man behind him still hacking like a dying man.
Jiang Cheng turned around to retort, but the other was already rushing towards the fridge with a hand over his mouth. The chaos was soon quelled by the appearance of Lan WangJi next to Nie HuaiSang, holding a glass of milk out towards the other.
Nie HuaiSang almost fell over trying to grab for the milk, downing the entire glass in a couple of gulps, before letting out a sigh of relief once the glass was emptied. His mouth felt numb, but it no longer burned. Jiang Cheng also sighed in relief once the chaos visibly calmed down.
Always there when chaos strikes, aren’t you, WangJi?
“Ahhh... right, what were you screaming about earlier?” Nie HuaiSang poured himself another glass of milk, and placed the previous batch of chocolates he tested into a plastic container. He slapped a post it with the words ‘WX’ on it, and shoved inside the fridge.
“Why would you put hot sauce in chocolate?”
“Oh, you know?”
“No! I don’t know!”
“I wanted to test out flavors, to see what flavor matches...” Nie HuaiSang paused. “A certain person's taste.”
Jiang Cheng felt his eyebrow twitch. A certain person? Sure does sound like someone who’s important.
Hot sauce chocolates.
He couldn’t think of anyone else other than Wei WuXian who would genuinely enjoy eating such an accursed delicacy. But there's no way this ‘certain person’ would be Wei WuXian… yeah there’s no way. He squinted at the memory of Nie HuaiSang placing a post it with ‘WX’ onto the container of chocolates.
No! No, there’s no fucking way. How would Nie HuaiSang be able to even live comfortably with Lan WangJi otherwise? It was purely coincidental. ‘Certain person’ could mean anyone, not a significant other. He’s probably just throwing his fuck up chocolates to Wei WuXian.
Think optimistically, as his sister always says.
“Your friend has shitty taste then, who the hell would ever consider eating spicy chocolates?”
“Your brother?”
“Other than him, he has shit tastes and doesn’t count.”
“I assume you might have liked them too…” Nie HuaiSang quietly said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “You both seem to like strong flavors, so I thought you might also like something spicy.” He bashfully hid his face with his sleeves, muffling himself out of embarrassment.
Unfortunately, Jiang Cheng wasn’t able to hear him when he said the first thing, and he sure didn’t hear him talking through his sleeves. “Hah? What was that?” He asked.
Suddenly, Nie HuaiSang outstretched his arms and pushed Jiang Cheng around and back out into the living room, following behind him. “I-It was nothing! I’m done baking for now, so I’ll help give you tips on writing now.” Nie HuaiSang laughed nervously, pushing him all the way to the somehow neatly cleaned living room. Jiang Cheng passively wondered where the fuck all those napa cabbages went.
“Sit down, make yourself at home.” Nie HuaiSang cleared away his desk, grabbing a clipboard and pen. He sat down on the bed, and patted the space next to him. “Don’t just stand there, come on, sit down. We have to talk so I can figure out how to help you write your love letter.”
“Please stop calling it that, it sounds so embarrassing.”
“And that’s exactly how it should sound. Who sends love letters in this day and age? I mean, I can admire how old fashioned you’re going with this, but I really didn’t peg you as the sappy romantic kind of person.” Nie Huaisang mused, tapping the clipboard with his pen.
“If it weren’t for the fact you’re helping me I would have strangled you already.”
“Yes, yes I know. You and your weird ki—”
“Finish that sentence, I dare you.”
Nie HuaiSang laughed, wiping a stray tear from his eyes.
“I’m teasing, I’m teasing! Ahaha, ok now let’s get serious.” Nie HuaiSang’s tone immediately changed. “I’m responsible for your nonexistent love life now Jiang-Xiong. I have to make give you some real good love advice so I’m not at fault if you fail .”
There was something about those words that made Jiang Cheng reflexively clench his jaw. Did he really have to make it sound like helping him out was a chore?
“So first of all, do you have any examples of what you've written so far? Or I mean, we can also just stick with basic advice if you're too embarrassed.” Nie HuaiSang was lucky that Jiang Cheng was smitten with him, or else he would have suplexed his old friend already. This was plain humiliating.
“The...latter…” Jiang Cheng grit out, “I don't have anything to show.”
Nie HuaiSang just smiled with a doubtful expression (which was greatly unappreciated) and moved on (thankfully) with their ‘Helping Jiang Cheng Write Love Letters 101’ class.
He didn't believe Jiang Cheng at all, did he?
They spent two hours going through the ins and outs of what was considered a ‘proper’ love letter, and actually writing the letter. While Jiang Cheng scribbled his feelings out, Nie HuaiSang would hover above him watching him write. Nie HuaiSang ended up getting kicked out of his own room so Jiang Cheng could finish without breaking out in cold sweat and going ham. It was unnerving to have your crush watch you write a love letter that's meant for them.
He came out a couple minutes later triumphantly holding out the letter towards Nie HuaiSang, who was about to eat a whole lettuce with chocolate covering half of it.
“It's not what you think.”
Jiang Cheng retreated back into the room, and returned with a revised letter. The lettuce was placed back into Lan WangJi’s hands.
“I told you we wouldn’t have enough time to try and eat the lettuce!”
“We tried.” Lan WangJi monotonously responded, peeling off several leaves and slowly chewing the chocolate covered veggie.
Jiang Cheng returned, and threw the letter towards Nie HuaiSang. He shoved his hands into his pocket, eyes glancing back and forth between his shoes and the paper now in Nie HuaiSang’s lap.
“Do you want me to look over it now?” He smiled cheekily, leaning on his arm. “You finished surprisingly fast, I’m kind of scared to read it…”
“N-No it’s for y—” Jiang Cheng bit his tongue, holding back the rest of his sentence, and sighed. “Yeah, I want you to look over it before I send it out.” He actually meant to just give it to Nie HuaiSang the note here and now, to get over the embarrassment that would sooner or later eat him up. But you know what? This works too.
Nie HuaiSang skimmed over the first paragraph, stared up at the ceiling, and covered his face, sinking into the sofa while stifling his laughter.
“Oh my God, wow I really think I felt my heart skip a beat reading this. What a casanova you are with these kind of skills.”
Jiang Cheng tensed up, anxious to find out what was so hilarious to Nie HuaiSang. He didn’t care if his brother laughed at him, but this? This was a whole other story. He wanted to crawl into a hole and rot there if Nie HuaiSang didn’t get to the point already. Was his writing really that bad, that it was laughable to this extent?
Nie HuaiSang sat back up, his breathing laborious after shoving his face between the couch’s cushions for a minute. “I understand why you came to me for help now. This really is just a disaster. Jiang-Xiong, I really did think you’d write something more sappy. Maybe a confession even more sappy than what Jin ZiXuan hired someone to do for him. But this? This is just blackmail with unnerving implications.”
Oh.
He’s not surprised, but it still hurt to hear the same exact thing Wei WuXian said to him earlier repeated back to him by his crush.
“Here, I’ll write something better for you, I mean, you have so much dirt on this person, I can work with this. Seriously, how do you know this much stuff about one person—” Nie HuaiSang paused, and cautiously spoke in a hushed voice. “You aren’t...” He looked to the side and back, leaning closer towards Jiang Cheng’s ear. “Stalking someone now are you?”
“No! What do you take me for?” Jiang Cheng choked on his own spit when he heard the whispered accusation, frantic to find a reason why he knew all these stupid small details about someone. Well, he had a lot to lose but there was nothing he could do about it. “It’s for a childhood friend, that’s why. I’ve known them since I was a kid and I still know them. Of course I would know a lot of secrets about them.”
Nie HuaiSang raised an eyebrow, and leaned in even closer, their foreheads touching. ‘This stupid lovesick puppy wanted to die from embarrassment already. When will god smite him from above?’
His questioning stare made Jiang Cheng squirm like a worm, Nie HuaiSang looked like he was searching for something on Jiang Cheng’s face. He leaned back and lazily waves Jiang Cheng off. “Alright, alright, no need to look so guilty. I believe you, you’re just really bad at getting game. It’s okay Jiang-Xiong, it’ll be our secret.” The paper was neatly folded into three parts, placed between his palms. “Go on now, you still have an essay to work on right? I can get this to you by tomorrow! No need to thank me, I know, I’m great.” His smile smug and proud. Jiang Cheng really wanted to punch him, with his fist, and then maybe his lips to wipe that smirk off his face. Yeah, that’d be nice. He can’t wait to see the look on Nie HuaiSang’s face when he ends up reading his own letter.
“Thanks.” Jiang Cheng’s voice cracked, it was like he was back in middle school all over again. He cleared his throat. “Thank you, for helping me write this letter. It... means a lot.” What else was he supposed to say for something like this? He doesn’t want to actually admit how much he owes Nie HuaiSang for this dumb request, but it really was saving his sorry ass big time. He stood up, and awkwardly walked to the door. He turned back, and stiffly waved goodbye to Nie HuaiSang (and Lan WangJi, kind of). Nie HuaiSang returned the wave, and the door closed shut.
Jiang Cheng squatted down behind the door, with his face shoved into his hands. What a fucking mess! That had to be the most humiliating interaction he’s had so far with Nie HuaiSang, and there were a lot to go from. He silently screamed into his hands, stood up, and walked back to his dorm, blindly bumping into the walls. He dropped his hands to his side, staring at the door to his dorm room with a blank expression. Wei WuXian was not going to let him live this down. Jiang Cheng opened the door anyway, and fell face first onto the couch.
“Oh? You’re home?” Wei WuXian’s head poked out from the hallway. “How’d it go?”
“Shut up and go finish your stupid group project.” Came Jiang Cheng’s muffled reply.
“Ah, ok I got it. Not that great, I’ll leave you to be angsty.” The sound of a door slamming echoed in Jiang Cheng’s head. God, how is he going to face Nie HuaiSang sober in the morning.
“Good morning sleeping beauty, guess who’s at the door for you?” A voice whispered into Jiang Cheng’s ear. Reflex kicked in, and Wei WuXian was socked in the face as Jiang Cheng rose from the couch tired and grumpy.
“MY FACE!” Wei WuXian screamed, rubbing his aching jaw. “IS THIS WHAT I GET FOR WAKING YOU UP TO SEE YOUR CRU—” Jiang Cheng lunged at his brother, smothering his face with his sleeves. After confirming Wei WuXian had given up, laying on the ground unmoving and shedding crocodile tears. Serves him right.
Having not processed anything Wei WuXian mentioned earlier, Jiang Cheng opened the door after hearing a faint knock. Not taking into consideration the fact that he looked like he just got ran over twice by a truck and then dumped into the sewers. Nie HuaiSang stared up at Jiang Cheng with an uneasy smile and widened eyes.
Jiang Cheng.exe has stopped working.
Jiang Cheng closed the door slowly, and silently contemplated whether or not he was still dreaming. He walked into his room, throwing on new clothes and retying his hair into a ponytail. Jiang Cheng walked back to the door, and opened it to see Nie HuaiSang still standing there, holding out a letter decorated with cutesy stickers and tapes. Really over the top presentation, but it warmed Jiang Cheng’s heart knowing Nie HuaiSang really did try with something like this.
Too bad he never tried when he doing his homework, or in exams.
“I finished it like I said, but erm I kind of messed up and decorated and sealed the envelope before I could let you read over the new letter. But, I’m confident in my skills. And hopefully you are too.” Nie HuaiSang placed the letter into Jiang Cheng’s hands, ignoring the flabbergasted stare he received. “I’ll get going now, Lan WangJi is making pancakes and he said he’d let me have one if I managed to—”
Panicking, Jiang Cheng grabbed Nie HuaiSang’s wrist, throwing him off course, and stumbling inside the Jiang brothers’ dorm room. Jiang Cheng completely blocked Nie HuaiSang from leaving. Fuck!! This was some bullshit kabedon scene his sister watches in her stupid dramas! (Sis if you’re out there...I didn’t actually mean it). Jiang Cheng felt a cold sweat run down his neck — he didn’t mean to do this at all. Nie HuaiSang stared blankly down at his feet, seemingly processing what just happened. Jiang Cheng opened his mouth, trying to explain the strange predicament the two of them were in. Jesus, was Wei WuXian still here? Glancing back, he confirmed the previously pseudo dead body of Wei WuXian was missing from the ground. Thank fuck.
“H-Haha, uh does Jiang-Xiong have something to say, or...? I have pancakes waiting for me at home, or uh, d-do you want some, I mean if that's the problem then we can spare some.” Nie HuaiSang averted his gaze away from Jiang Cheng, wholly obscuring his face.
Jiang Cheng dryly swallowed down his anxiousness, and handed the love letter to Nie HuaiSang. “It’s... for you.”
Nie HuaiSang’s hands hovered underneath Jiang Cheng’s, he drew back, looking unsure. Jiang Cheng nudged the letter closer to him, pushing the letter to his chest.
“Are, are you serious?” Nie HuaiSang squeaked. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” The meek cheep turned into a frustrated roar. “YOU MADE ME WRITE A LOVE LETTER FOR YOU AND IT TURNED OUT TO JUST BE FOR ME?!”
Jiang Cheng was caught off guard by Nie HuaiSang pushing him back to the door, slapping his face with the letter. “I THOUGHT SOME OF THE SHIT YOU HAD ON THIS PERSON WAS FAMILIAR, YOU ASSHOLE!” Nie HuaiSang threw the love letter he slaved over onto the floor, and kicked it further inside the dorm.
“It wasn’t my first idea to ask you for help.” Jiang Cheng winces, disregarding the possible papercut inflicted onto his face. “Wei WuXia—”
“FUCK WEI WUXIAN, YOU THINK HE COULD HELP YOU AT ALL? HE MAY BE ONE YEAR AHEAD OF ME AS A LITERATURE MAJOR BUT HE’S AS BRIGHT AS A BLACK HOLE!” Nie HuaiSang massaged his temple, took a deep breath, and grabbed Jiang Cheng by the collar. “You know what, this is better than nothing, I’ll take your stupid confession.”
He pulled down, and roughly kissed Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng.exe has crashed. Restart?
Nie HuaiSang calmed down expedentionally, his furious countenance replaced with a gentle smile. He let go of Jiang Cheng’s shirt, and instead wrapped his arms around Jiang Cheng. This was surprisingly comfortable, and made Jiang Cheng’s heart feel like jumping ship. This was a turn of events he didn’t see happening at all this morning.
“I’m still really pissed about this, but yeah, I’ve been in love with you for awhile now too. I thought you weren’t interested at all seeing how you never paid attention to any of my attempts at flirting with you.”
“YOU’VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH ME?” Jiang Cheng screeched. “SINCE WHEN??” “Since sophomore year of highschool, thanks for noticing” Nie HuaiSang bitterly muttered, patting Jiang Cheng’s bicep. “It’s okay, I understand now, all Jiangs are dense idiots, I’ll try and make myself more highkey from now on.”
Jiang Cheng had just risen, and nothing was adding up in his brain.
“You liked me.”
“Yes, I like you, present tense. You can actually replace like with love, because I really love you, even if you are dumb about feelings. How many times do you want me to say that?”. The corner of Nie HuaiSang’s mouth twitched as he cupped Jiang Cheng’s face with his hands and leaned in to kiss him again. Softer, and more chaste than their first. “How’s that for proof?” His sly grin made Jiang Cheng melt. Good lord, did he really confess to Nie HuaiSang and get two whole kisses just now? When he was barely half awake?
“So...does that mean we’re um…”
“We’re dating, if you want to.”
Jiang Cheng grasped Nie HuaiSang’s hands, holding them tightly between his own. “God, yes I would love to be your boyfriend.”
“Took you long enough,” Nie HuaiSang teased. “You could of just confessed like a normal person in this day of age, you know that right? Your love letter stunk.”
“I know.”
“Good, because I want you to never touch poetry ever again, you’re tarnishing its name.”
“I don’t know what you just said, I’m half awake, and extremely tired, but I am so fucking happy right now.” Jiang Cheng slumped onto his new boyfriend’s shoulder. “I really love you.”
“I know.” Nie HuaiSang replied cheekily, patting Jiang Cheng’s head.
“...Was my love letter really that bad?”
“Absolutely, I thought I was going to die when you sent your first one.”
Jiang Cheng accepted the fact that he couldn’t write love letters to save his life. But at least this one got him the guy he’s in love with, and that’s the lesson of this story. Sometimes, death threats can work out as a good declaration of love.
name: MISU twitter: pumpkinnewt tumblr: citrusfrogs
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